Guest of the
High Performance Podcast,
the general manager and head of
Mercedes spoke openly about his battle with
depression.
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He explains that he
sometimes felt like “looking into an abyss,” his mind
constantly imagining the worst possible scenarios.
Negative
spiral
Wolff ultimately
decided to undergo therapy. However, he does not want to
completely give up this tendency to consider what could
go wrong, believing it allows him to maintain a certain
form of skepticism.
He says he has seen
people who have been very successful gradually lose
touch with reality. Therapy, however, has helped him
better understand and manage certain emotions he was previously
unable to analyze.
“I don’t want
to stop thinking, in a way, that tomorrow could
really be bad. That doesn’t mean I’m constantly
unhappy, but it allows me to keep my skepticism,
he says. Talking to someone was more about
overcoming past traumas and emotions that I
couldn’t really analyze.”
“As
Lewis Hamilton said, I have experienced periods of depression
since the age of 18. I couldn’t really define what
it was. Why did I feel so dark?”
he wonders. And when it became so intense
that I was no longer able to manage it alone, I started
talking to a psychiatrist, then later to a psychologist.”
Transforming
pain
“It really helped me
understand why I felt that way and to
use the tools given to me to turn those
moments into reflection and introspection, without letting the
suffering last as long,” he explained.
Asked about the
feelings he experienced during those times, Wolff tried to
put words to his experience: “You can’t
sleep properly. You wake up with a feeling
of darkness. It’s very hard to describe, but it’s as if
there is no hope left for your future.”
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He notably
recalled a Formula 1 evening held in Monaco in the early
2000s. According to him, hearing at that time a paddock personality explain that they were going through similar difficulties
could have helped him better understand what he was experiencing.
Wolff now believes
that this sensitivity, which can be a source of
vulnerability, is also a strength in certain aspects
of his professional life: “I think maybe
someone is watching me and thinking: ‘He doesn’t have the limits
I have.’ And I realized that this sensitivity could be a
superpower.”
“It can
drag you very low because it makes you vulnerable, but
it also gives you the ability to easily read a room, to
understand someone’s personality and how it
influences your interactions, to better sense atmospheres and,
fundamentally, to lead an organization because you
care about individuals.”
Drivers are
also fragile
The head of
Mercedes also emphasized the importance of testimonies from
top drivers like Lewis Hamilton,
Lando Norris or
George Russell. According to him, hearing such exposed personalities talk about their own difficulties can help others
understand that the darkest periods are not
necessarily permanent.
“Even when
you see no light at the end of the tunnel because things
are really bad, it always eventually passes. Sometimes, I myself didn’t
believe it would end. I benefited from the support
of my friends and family, he reveals. Susie was
amazing, she kept everything running when
I was no longer able to. It’s a phase of your life that can
last a few days, a few weeks, a few months, maybe
even more than a year.”
Wolff finally
reaffirmed the importance of turning to professionals
when the situation becomes difficult: “If you are open
to the idea of taking care of yourself, talking to someone and
seeking professional help, rather than going to the pub to drink
five beers with a friend who doesn’t really understand what you
are going through, then, by talking to someone, it will eventually pass.
“
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